A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three
young mothers and their small children. "You all have
obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by
the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very
hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a
huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later,
one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The
other missionary can't believe it! He says, "What's wrong with
you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could
possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."
A brunette, a red head, and a blonde were having a very
interesting conversation and it got around to their daughters.
The brunette said, "I went in my daughter's room the other day
and found a pack of ciggarettes, I didn't even know she smoked!"
The red head said, "I went in my daughter's room and found a
half-empty bottle of vodka! I didn't even know she drank!"
Then the blonde burst out and said, "I went in my daughter's
room and found a pack of condoms, half-empty, I didn't even know
she had a penis!"